My body is once again empty and my heart is breaking yet again.
I was on the emergency operations list but right down the bottom so i had to wait 6 hrs by myself in the hospital before they did the surgery. I was a complete mess. they called a social worker for me to talk to. She was nice and understanding, helped me pass 30 mins of time. but ultimately didn't help me feel any better. to make it worse they were doing Cesarean sections that day and every hour or so i could hear the cries of a brand new baby. and i was wishing i was those women and not me. This time i saw the heartbeat and my perfect baby. I prayed so hard for it's life and still it was taken from me.