Holiday Time

Tomorrow we go on a much needed Holiday. Munchkin, Hubby and I are off to tropical north Queensland. I had thought this could be a baby making holiday. but i am no where near ready for TTC again yet. So there will be no BBT monitoring or icky fertility meds on holiday. and Hubby will use protection ( i don't think he is pleased with this bit) but at least we can enjoy ourselves without the stress of am i or am i not pregnant. since i will ovulate at the start of our holiday.
So with TTC off the agenda I can eat as much seafood, oysters, good coffee, soft cheese and deli meat as i like. and enjoy wine  with hubby after munchkin is in bed. ( this does sound Goood doesn't it :) )
Munchkin is excited about a " emmaplane" ride. My cousin P.e.r.r.y is taking us to the airport and munchkin is just as excited about seeing " anty Peffy " as she is about the aeroplane ride. So i will update with holiday snaps and news in about 2 weeks. hopefully this holiday will shake my bad mood away.
 take care all

not too sure where to start this post so bear with me, I had the hysteroscopy done and it looked normal, they also did another Currette and sent it off for analysis. it showed ' retained product'( although they didn't see it on the camera) and I'm still waiting on the endometrial NK cell test and other immunological testing to come back from it. So still no answers.
I still feel incredibly hollow daily activities seem to have no meaning or emotion attached. it is very much still a case of 'faking it'  fake smiles and emotion are portrayed to everyone including Munchkin. Even when she gives me a big bear hug i don't seem to feel its warmth. it seems when the grim reaper took David he also took much more. Sorry can't write any more.

It is  6 weeks since David became an angel. And it seems that that mysterious amount of time has passed, My friends no longer want to hear about my loss when they ask how I am and i answer honestly. One friend actually rolled her eyes at me the other day. Babies for her are easy. And i don’t want her to understand the way this feels. I just need a bit of understanding that some days are still really hard for me. It seems it is time to grieve in private and isolation.