So glad someone said it.

While watching the morning show today whilst waiting for Cookie to fall asleep the story was on new mums who wished they had a baby of the opposite sex and were having trouble bonding with their 'unwanted' baby. And just as i was starting to feel my blood boil with thoughts of how can they be so ungrateful to  feel that about a healthy baby. ( yes during the early days of my pregnancy with cookie i briefly wished she was a boy, as my last miscarriage was a boy. But i wouldn't swap her for the world now, she is HERE and HEALTHY) Sami Lukas who was a guest on the show piped up eyes full of tears and said exactly what i was thinking. i had forgotten about her journey with IF. I am so glad she had the courage to speak up and remind everyone watching that every birth is a miracle and that the ability to have a child easily is not something shared by all.

Welcome September IcomLeaveWe

Welcome to all those here from IcomLeaveWE, I am currently a stay at home mum to two little girls, Munchkin and Cookie. I suffered 3 miscarriages between them, and i still miss my angel babies terribly.
Here is a link to my treatment summary for Recurrent Pregnanct Loss that brought Cookie here.
If you are still looking for answers I truly hope you find them and soon. Right now I am enjoying the newborn days and having my Husband on Home soil ( he is in the airforce). it is nice to feel like a normal family for a bit no TTC stress and no defence stress. I look forward to reading your blogs as well. baby dust to all xxoo

We are fine

This post is primarily for those who know me IRL. There is a wear house chemical fire in a nearby suburb to where we live. The smoke is potentially hazardous and we have been told to stay inside. So apart from being stuck in the house with a 3 yr old who wants to play in the sand pit we are fine. I just hope they can put the fire out soon.
love to all.

Life with Cookie

(Note: To all those still struggling with TTC/ Loss, this blog will be now focused on parenting after loss and life in general. If you need to stop reading for a while I completely understand and i look forward to seeing you again soon. Sending baby dust to all xxoo)

The first two weeks with Cookie have been great She is a real snuggle bug and her favourite place to sleep is in someones arms. She is a champion feeder and didn't loose any weight in her birth week. The cardigan i knitted isn't going to fit for long.
 My guilty mummy secret is that I am co sleeping her as she hates her little bassinet. I also think i wouldn't be able to sleep without her close to me I love that i can just kiss her head to see if she is too hot or too cold, and i love that instead of crying she just makes funny noises and starts to look around for my nipple when she is hungry. I co slept with Munchkin  for 3 months as well. Cookie only wakes twice at night for a feed when she is in our bed. In the day she naps in the pram surrounded by noise. she likes to know where we are.
Recovery from birth for me this time has been a lot easier. I haven't been ravaged by hormonal crying like i did after munchkin was born. and we are getting more sleep this time round. Although i have never been so happy to be tired in my life.
I don't think i will ever understand why my Angels had to go or why Cookie is here today. all i know is that all of my babies have a special place in my heart.
Munchkin loves her little sister and i am not allowed to change a nappy or give her a bath without Munchkins help I hope this trend continues.
People have already been asking when number 3 will be coming and right now i can't answer that question. In an ideal world the answer would be soon. But we all know that the world is not ideal.
 and right now i have the lovely warm weight of a sleeping newborn in my arms and i feel blessed. and i am going to enjoy this feeling for a while before i even think about wanting to go through TTC again.