David's Birthday

Today is the Day that my bubba boy should have been entering the world. Cookie should still be a distant dream. Today i should be counting tiny fingers and toes. and enjoying the smell of a freshly bathed newborn baby. but once again today my arms are empty. Instead of dressing my little boy in the colour of the heavens he is there already. I miss you, David and love you more than you will ever know.  xxoo

Cookie!!!

Cookie is good. heart rate 160. and growing ok i'm just worried about my BhCG's as they are down to 88000 now from 146000 a couple of weeks ago the doc says this can happen and isn't worried I'm just worried as i didn't think they plateaued till after 12 weeks not 9 weeks. but so long as Cookie is good i guess it doesn't matter.

Scared stupid

Last night i noticed a brown discarge form me. it is like old blood brown. and now i'm petrified that cookie is gone already. It is a long wait to 12:20 when you are counting microseconds. prayers please everyone.

The pain returns

Last friday afternoon the low abdominal pain returned and has done every afternoon since. I am just praying that everything is ok. next scan is on Thursday. I really want Cookie to be mine to hold.

Cookie!!!

Cookie is Good! measuring 9wks 5days I'm 9wks 3days. and heart rate 167. please pray that i get to keep Cookie all my other miscarriages were between 9 and 10 weeks.

Cookie might be in trouble

today's bloods weren't glowing progesterone thanks to the pessaries was 107 but BhCg was 147388 which is a high number but it almost hasn't budged from last wed. and i have to wait till wed for another scan it is a very anxious wait. please pray with me that Cookie is OK.

Cookie!!!!

Cookie is good! i am 8 wks 3 days and little Cookie is measuring 8 wks 5 days with a heart rate of 180bpm. Fingers crossed things stay good everyone i'm dreading wk 10 already.

The pain stopped 2 days ago but now I'm worried that everything else has stopped too. U/S is tomorrow it can't come fast enough. fingers crossed everyone.

a little concerned

I have been having bad lower abdominal pain lately i'm worried Cookie might be ectopic. except the pain goes away with rest. It is also only in the evening starts around 4-5 in the evening and continues till bedtime. which is terrible as that is when we need dinner cooked munchkin bathed and in bed it is impossible for me to put my feet up for 4 hrs at this time of day. Hubby has been cooking dinner and bathing munchkin but i still have to climb the stairs and read the stories for her to sleep. I have had some cramping and pain with all my miscarriages but not munchkin so it is doing nothing to make me think that cookie will be mine to keep. and my counsellor is on holiday till feburary.(right on time to pick up the peices if we find out in wk 10 that Cookie is gone) hopefully my first scan next wed will be some good news.

home again

Hi all,
          We are home from visiting the family for Christmas. We had a lovely time although because off all the rain we only got to the beach twice. Munchkin really enjoyed playing with her cousins. And she was really excited about Christmas. It was funny when on Christmas morning she was getting stuck into opening her Santa presents when Grandad pointed out that Santa had left the fireplace door open. She straight away scooted to the other side of the room not too sure if Scary Santa was about to make a reappearance.
I am 7 weeks now and bloods so far look good I have an acupuncture appointment this afternoon.
I must admit that whilst trying not too i have already fallen in love with 'Cookie' named because a really want to cook this one. Fingers and toes crossed that i get to keep this one.

ups and downs

My BHCG is up which is great but my progesterone dropped from 70 to 50 which is still a good number but it sounds like a big drop in 4 days to me. i am on the progesterone pessaries so fingers crossed this is a 9 month pregnancy and not a 3 month one. my main worry is that everyone is on hols for christmas so i cant get any more bloods done till new year and i can't get another accupuncture till jan either.  i can only pray this one stays stuck.

Merry Christmas To All

HI to all my lovely readers. We will be taking off soon to spend time with family for Christmas and i wanted to make sure i didn't forget to wish everyone a merry Christmas. I hope everyone gets spoilt rotten this year.
take care all

BFP!!!!

This is officially pregnancy number 5 fingers and toes crossed everyone and lots of prayers please. i am scarred out of my wits.

Prayers for a friend please

This week we received some tragic news. good friends of ours from our previous posting lost their second little boy Thomas to SIDS this week, Thomas was 3 months old. Hubby was deployed to the middle east and east timor with Jacki. His wife My and i were always glad that our Husbands had each other while on overseas deployments.  They have honoured us by asking Hubby and i to do a reading at the funeral tomorrow in the city. Could everyone please send prayers of comfort to Jacki and My and their family in this tragic time in their lives.

another year older

Friday was my birthday I am half way to 58. ( my mum has always doubled my age and said your half  way to -- ) it sounds great when you are ten and your mum tells you your half way to 20 but when your twenty it does make you feel a tad old. its been a running family joke for as long as i can remember. my standard response is " yes but that's a whole lifespan away" the day was nice and munchkin made me a card. Hubby and i went to see 'Jersey Boys' in the city which i really enjoyed.  I just can't help but reflect on how i should be trying for # 3 now instead of still trying for #2.

waiting

the 2 week wait  is here again.
fert doc rang yesterday saying my oestrogen was one hundred and something and progesterone 4.8 she said the oestrogen was "pissy" i thought oestrogen dropped after you ovulated does anyone know what a good level is after you ovulate? i have to send her more bloods next tues.

Munchkin is growing up

Munchkin received her first ever report card and encouragement award ( with a little medal) on Saturday.
It was for her music classes. they had their end of year Christmas concert at the local shopping centre I had to go on stage too as Munchkin got  shy at being on stage with everyone watching. but she did her 2 songs with the rest of her class well.  Seeing her presented with the award and report card gave me one of those my baby is growing up too fast moments. but i am extremely proud of her.

Hooray!

Hubby is home!!!!!!!
i think i received the stinkiest hug of my life ( they had no shower facilities out bush) but man it felt good.
Munchkin's response was "No cuddles Daddy, too stinky, hava shower frst K ?" which i thought was way too cute. I think i will be putting munchkin to bed early tonight. and as i am yet to ovulate Mango wine is in order i believe.

defence life

I am so hanging out for Hubby to come home tomorrow it has been a long week and a half with him away. And munchkins behaviour with her Daddy away has been less than desirable. She was refusing to eat dinner again last night until daddy rang and she could talk to him on speaker whilst eating her dinner. and she has had so many tantrums this week. And I'm also getting nervous about this cycle i hope we can do enough before ovulation to have a god shot at this one. my fingers and toes are crossed that the acupuncture helps as the steroids make me feel awful. and the sooner I'm pregnant the sooner i can stop taking them.

Icomleavwe

Welcome to all who are here from Icomleavwe I am looking forward to reading your blogs and finding more friends on this emotional journey to building the family of my dreams. This is my first month joining the conversation. Fingers crossed Santa gives us all sticky beans for Christmas.
Take care all  :)