pumpkin is growing well

my scan yeaterday was good pumpkinhas a heart beat of 170 and i got to watch it wriggle and turn over, must have been feeling camera shy yesterday. Pumpkin has grown a week in a week so they arn't worried this time. ( i still am a little though). I have my nuchal scan in a week ( i booked it in on the earlier side so we could check pumpkins growth as well.

Pumpkin's hr today is 171 i am very releived as my pregnancy symptoms had disappeared this week as it was making me worry.

Introducing 'Pumpkin'

Today's scan went well Pumpkin is 13mm long (about the same size as a pumpkin seed) which  is  2 days ahead at 7w 4d  and heart rate 154 ( yay!) progesterone today 140 which is great. next scan is in 2 weeks. Praying that my little pumpkin will grow big and strong.

My fingers toes and everything else are crossed for my first scan tomorrow. I'm a tad apprehensive as appart from tiredness i have no pregnancy symptoms. and i've had diarrhoes on and off for two weeks now ( which i have read a few studies that link this to miscarriages).  i have never had problems this early before so i shouldn't be worried yet week 9-12 seems to be when things go wrong. hopefully everything is ok tomorrow.

Todays Bhcg 23122 and progesterone 154  numbers wise everything looks good i am a tad worried as i had Diarrhoea over the weekend and i'm praying that it hasn't hurt the baby.  10 days till my first scan its going to be a very long 10 days.

Yesterdays bloods Bhcg 8034 and progesterone 103 number wise it looks ok. the fertility doc says, so ling as the progesterone is above 60 its ok. but all i see is that it has gone down from 130 on monday to 103 on thurs Hopefully mondays bloods will be good.  I need to start being more mindfull again. right now i am pregnant and that is a great thing.

lasts of the firsts

Today my beautiful Munchkin started school she is looking like a big kid more and more each day. and while Cookie is still very much doing things for the first time be it kicking, running or new words and phrases. I am a little saddened that these fantastic firsts are ending for Munchkin here is a photo of my proud big girl on her first day of School. she loves it too at pick up she said "the best bit about school is that i can go the next day, and the next, and the next, and the next," etc it went on for a while she was so excited.

up up up !!!

Bhcg today was 3159 and progesterone a fantasitc 130 things are looking good this week my first scan is scheduled for 21/2/13 fingers crossed everyone.

step 1 achieved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I sent of a set of bloods to my fert doc because we have a meeting with her this evening. she rang me by surprise this morning to tell me that my BHCG was 464 woo hoo its been a long hard 6 months to get this far. fingers toes and everything else crossed that this one is a sticky bean i would really like  pregnancy #6 to be baby #3
YAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( ps under my excitement i'm shaking in my boots)

Prayers for a friend

I recently found out that a friend of mine has suffered a miscarriage at 12weeks after her first ivf cycle ( and many many failed IUI's before hand) she is utterly devastated. she blogs at the land of Mel . She Doesn't post on infertility matters but if any other baby loss mums out there could give her a subtle virtual hug it would be much appreciated just to let her know that she isn't alone and is supported in her time of need
Thanks all.

not this month either, i think another visit to the fertility dr is in order. Fingers crossed  for 2013.

This journey to two pink lines seems to be taking ages. I am hopeing that there is some magic for me this Christmas we got Cookie on a Christmas cycle. So this year i am praying for a gift like that of the first Christmas, A child.

last cycle was not my cycle either. I just hope that like the first christmas my gift this year is a child.
It was the christmas cycle that we got Cookie so fingers crossed.

not this month

wow this cycle was long 36 days normaly good old aunt flo turns up exactly 10 days after my last Bhcg shot. but the last 2 cycles  its been more like 13 days. our second cycle of trying is normally the lucky one so i'm a tad bummed that this month hasn't worked. 17 more days till our next shot at it :)

waiting again

I am 7 days in to the 2 week wait. and i think my chances this month are slim i caught gastroenteritis ( novovirus) from a pt at work and with how violently ill i have been the last 24hrs i doubt anything will stick.  but i will  keep my fingers crossed anyway, and if all is well i will go and buy a lottery ticket :)

not this month 18 more days till we get another shot.

update and a pic of Cookies first Birthday Cake

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This is the cake I baked for Cookie's first birthday. its Little Bo Peep up on a hill looking for her Sheep, that are hiding in the bushes.
We had a lovely party in a park for her with lots of family and friends.

On a ttc note, i have one more week  left of the dreaded 2 week wait. gott thing i am insanely busy at the moment. and Munchkin Lost her attachment toy shopping last saturday. Hubby went and luckily found it this morning so i will have one VERY happy girl when Daddy gets home tonight. I am looking forward to the normal nights sleep as she hasn't slept well without her favourite toy.
It's just a pity its not one i can put a 'spare' of in the cupboard for such emergencies as she bought it at an op shop with her pocket money.

Cookie is 1 ( belated)

My wonderful little Cookie has celebrated her first birthday on the 21st Aug.
Where is the time going? I am still in awe that she is here let alone a toddler :)

Cookie you are such a delight to be around. and a real cuddle bug you love nothing more than to come in and mould your little body to mine for a good snuggly cuddle. You are walking now and charm anyone who meet you with your cheeky smile and stunning baby blue eyes.
you love your big sister munchkin as much as mummy and hearing the two of you laugh together is the best sound i have ever heard. Your favourite nursery rhymes are row your boat and humpty dumpty. and little bo peep.

Happy birthday Baby girl!!!

update

We had ther fertility appointment on monday and i am relieved to say  she has presccribed a repeat course of Cookies pregnancy. so folks we start this roller coaster again next cycle. fingers crossed everyone.

A why me? pity party

 Today, a good friend announces she is pregnant with twins. she already has 2 children.
all of her pregnancies are first month of trying.
and while i am thrilled that the babies are healthy and so is she. I must admit i came home from morning tea at her house and had 20 mins of why me tears?
why am i the less than 1% of women that will have 3 or more miscarriages in a row? I know these statistical bullets have to hit someone, but still why me?
Why is it that the feeling of infertility/sub fertility doesn't go away?
Why is it that just thinking about the appointment with the fert doc next Monday has the power to make me feel anxious.
Why even with Cookie here and healthy can't i think of myself as a survivor and not an infertility sufferer.

...I feel better already... everyone needs a pity party occasionally. thanks for comming. sorry i don't have party hats and whistles for everyone. :)