pregnancy#6
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Thursday, July 21, 2011
a little muddled
Sorry for the lack of meaningful posts lately, my head is all muddled up. Last Thursday marked one year since we found out our little jellybean was an angel. and some days I'd still give anything to be able to turn back the clock and have my angels with me. Which makes me feel terrible cause i do really love and want Cookie. Pregnancy after loss is such a different experience to what pregnancy should be. The baby car seats are still in the Garage. i don't want them in the cars until Cookie is safely here. Everything is washed but Cookies room still looks like the guest room and not a nursery. and the excited " my baby will be here soon" feeling that i had with munchkin is simply not there. I am really worried about something going wrong during the birth. which i know isn't good for natural labour as stress hormones can stop things progressing smoothly, a mum needs to feel safe and supported for a smooth labour. All I feel is stress and worry. I just want Cookie safely in my arms pink and healthy, so maybe then i can relax.
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Sending calming vibes your way. Hang in there and stay strong for your little one!
ReplyDeleteI know it's hard ... our N's room didn't look like a nursery until she came home. Deep breaths ... hang in there, my friend. I am thinking good thoughts for you.
ReplyDeleteI remember that feeling. It is normal. Our carseat for Irish Dancer did not go in the car until she was born. It is to scary.
ReplyDeleteI wish there was something I could say to make the stress go away, but I know that it won't go away until Cookie is in your arms and you are looking into those beautiful eyes of hers.
I am praying for you and that all will go smoothly.
I can't wait to hear about the birth and see pictures.
Pez